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I wonder how much money LJ spends to archive all of our old whiny college posts.

Posted on 2015.04.19 at 21:39
Holy crap was a I whiney college kid.

The last post I wrote is a very interesting one in relation to where I sit currently in life and location. I suppose we can call the period between then and now (Ugh, like 4 odd years, life is weird) my "middle ski bum time/late 20s discontent" part of my life. I came home, thought with ski bum logic of "I'm sure something will present itself sooner" that I'd find some new fun job at home, learned that it didn't really jive with how real life works and I packed up and left again. And then I came back and tried the same god damn thing again to the same result. I'm a real dummy, it turns out. I really don't want to revisit too much more but let's just say in 2014/2015 a resume of a seasonal front desk agent is not one that is particularly in need by corporate America. That brings up the other problem for me. I told myself I could go have fun until I hit 30 and then it was time to do stuff. Well, when you specifically avoid thinking about adult decisions for a long time, it turns out you turn into a 30 year old without a career.

Apparently I'm a whiny 30 year old too.

Ok, so that's that time of my life. A time I'm in the process of truly moving on from. I guess I never really got that sad or depressed (other than the normal sads) during my weird time, but in hindsight trying to ignore the situation probably didn't help. The real world is stupid and I probably should have known trying to find an office job on Indeed.com was not going to end well. But that's done. Almost done.I found a gig doing some silly outdoor lawn work that is set to last until October. It's only been a few weeks but it's about what you'd expect from a job like that. Early hours, hard days pushing a spreader around (It's going suck real bad when the heat comes) and one has to hustle all damn day to make your money. BUT. It could be a shit ton of money by the end. And I'm outside and the job is mostly pretty mindless. Good dudes too.

The small sliver lining to have too much empty time is that I was able to sort out whatever I needed to sort out. My plan of just "finding a job and making money until something made sense" wasn't the worst plan but it wasn't a proactive one. I've had a very interesting and wonderful life but I can be very slow moving on decisions. In some instances that's an ok thing. I was happy to make some roots in Steamboat for a while. My happy place is floating on the pontoon about at our cabin in Northern Wisconsin reading a book. People are in such a god damn hurry these days and I like to walk in the woods and float around. The bad part is well, why I'm writing this from Huntley. Whatever I thought was going happen didn't and I'm crashing in my old room. So the original plan is back on. Grad school. Not teaching, not an MA in history (Because I've figured out that two useless history degrees are a dumb idea) but Library and Information Science. Specifically a focus on Archiving too. It's the stuff I like an am interested in, but also a degree that teaches you how to do things. There are some lingering doubts based on being able to find a job, but I feel like this is a good start.

Oh yeah, the other thing I figured out is that I love the Midwest and love being around my family. My brother had a beautiful daughter. They're an hour away but I see them all the time. My cousins are around here, we hit breweries and go fishing. I love being a Midwesterner. I'm stubbornly Midwestern and I like that I feel aware of that.

So anyways, my life didn't make any sense for a while and I didn't handle it well. I've always had an unusual life for a bit and I don't really fit in normal places. So I probably shouldn't be totally at fault for whatever happened. Mostly, but not totally. Onward is the new name of the game. Except when I'm fishing. And reading. And watching baseball.

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